Third time is definitely the charm

Today, I would like to talk about my husband, whom I adore.  He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me.  It took me a while to find it - but good things come to those who wait.  He is my third husband and we met in 2001 online at match.com.  We married in August, six months later.  I hope we are celebrating together for many decades to come.

My first husband was abusive, more mentally and emotionally than physically.  His most physical abuse was rape.  I have never written those words out loud.  And I would be ashamed for my children to read them, but I have nothing to be ashamed about.  I have learned that.

But I turned around and married another abuser, because I thought that marriage was the right state to be in when one had kids.  I did not want to be a single mom.  He had a psychotic break when I told him I wanted a divorce. Psychotic breaks are not pretty.  I ran from the house in my pajamas because he was physically terrifying me. The kids were not at home at the time.  Even though I kept possession of the house to provide a home for the girls, his behavior fixated on us and I had to leave the state to escape him.  But he followed.  and stalked. although to my knowledge, he never did anything - just tracked and watched.  But karma is a bitch. eight years later, he was killed after stopping a drunk man and his girlfriend from fighting at a campground on Memorial Day week-end.  The defendant and a person nearby both claimed that the victim yelled "I'm going to get you!" before the defendant stabbed him.  Apparently, the cops put zero belief in that because of all the glowing reports about the victim who had been in the marines and was known for being such a gentle man.  Well, until I called to confirm it was my ex-husband and was asked why.  After explaining the fear we'd been under for the better part of a decade and the order of protection, maybe the cops got a different view on the victim.  I don't care.  The defendant was convicted of manslaughter, justice was served on all sides. The sickening part was reading the comments from others about the victim, my ex-husband.  Oh, and as far as I know - he was never in the marines.  I think I would have known.  But psychotic people hide well and present a totally different person to most than they do to their victims.  I was his victim.  They were his cover.

So after two horrible marriages, could anyone blame me for being scared of a third?  But I took a leap of faith and God placed me in the arms of the right person.  I have a strong faith - would have to after what I have survived, because there was no way I saved myself.  I know there are people who have suffered much more and I bleed for them inside.  But there are also people who have never known this type of pain or fear. I hope they never do.