Today I have my last written assignment due for my summer class - well, almost last. There is a final essay, but we don't know what it is yet. And of course, I have procrastinated in completing the paper. Part of what causes me to procrastinate is that I have no discipline. Apparently, I need that rush of stress to cause me to work like crazy. But logically, I know that a time will come when no matter what I do, I will not complete the task. Like the other paper I have procrastinated on. First, a little background:
I am in a PhD program at UTDallas in Public Affairs. I would never have thought to choose PA, because my loves are law, health, education, diversity/inclusivity, and technology - not in any order. I am a registered nurse with a bachelors in psychology and business administration. Before nursing, I worked in the mental health field. Then I became a lawyer. We can discuss career ADD in a later post. Now, I want to be a PhD - why? Two reasons. 1) That has always been my educational goal, PhD and apparently JD was not sufficient. 2) Job need. My first job after graduating Arizona State University College of Law was at the law school running the pro bono and student life. Essentially, anything outside academic credit was under me and a few things extra. I LOVED it. I cannot stress it enough = dream job.
But then my husband got a new job that took us to Texas right at the start of 2008 I had 4 years in the university setting, which was not enough experience to get me a similar job in Texas - they did not know how good I am. And I am good. It's like knowing you can write music or do gymnastics - you just know it. And when God gives you a talent like that - you should obey the calling. One of the obstacles was that I did not have a PhD. Despite all the rules stating that a JD should be treated like any other doctorate (PhD, EdD, etc.), it is not. Academic snubbery/snobbery at its best. And I was not elite enough in law school to garner a job as a law professor. So what's a girl to do - get a PhD, of course.
Oh, there was one more reason, I was completely stressed out and overloaded at work. I was doing nothing for me. In order to force myself to do something for me, I had to be under a commitment. So I committed to a PhD. Which brings us back to needing that stress to force me to write. And oh my good googli moo, I have another paper due for independent study class due on August 8. It's going to be a kick-ass paper if I can write it properly. I'll discuss it in a later post too, just hang with me, people, we have lots to share!
Writing - and a PhD program - takes discipline. Well, law school does, too for that matter. I can write another post about law school and what it takes to survive later. I lots of insight and some tricks. Anyway, as the PhD program is part-time, designed for working professionals, it's not the same environment as law school. I only have about 14 others in my cohort and we lock-step through the program like good little students. This summer is supposed to be our last coursework before starting the dissertation phase, but because I took a job in California, I had to adapt my summer courses to fit my absenteeism. So it is an I.S. under the professor who is teaching the summer course: leadership and change management. I hate that I am not in there. What a fascinating topic.
So here I sit, blogging on a new blog rather than writing. I have given myself until 3 pm today (about 3.5 hours from now, 4 when I set the deadline) to finish the paper. Lack of discipline. The paper is due by 10 pm tonight, so I know I have some leeway in it. But seriously, why didn't I just write the durn thing throughout the week? procrastination.
One needs to recognize and accept one's faults and put in a plan to accommodate and counter said weaknesses.
That's my advice. Calendaring works for some people. Having loved ones stay on your case works for others. Putting it on a project management works for some. Me? I scope out the extent of the work needed and form a plan to prepare for the need. Then I bust ass to make it work. I am usually well-prepared to do so, my execution of said plan just sucks at times. It's brilliant if hectic and somewhat frantic. So here I am still procrastinating about it - but now I have verbalized my worries and reinforced the stupidity of delay...increases guilt and feelings of inferiority. That works for me.
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