RIP, James

I just found out that my nephew committed suicide this morning.  It's horrible.  I did not know him, had not seen him since he was a toddler. He was 24.  He was my only brother's first child whose mother had taken him to other states during his childhood - and my brother had no contact with him due to the mother.  But at 18 James came to find his father and proceeded to get into quite a bit of trouble, including going to prison.

It's sad to see such a life, any life, ruined - but to know that a parent failed to equip a child for success, much less deliberately set out to ensure the child failed, is a tragedy.  I don't know that my brother would have done much better and judging by the children he did raise, would have been just as bad.  But the point here is not about bad parenting, it's about a life ended young by his own hand to escape where he saw no other option.

I have been there, I know the desperate feeling of having no desire to experience more of what one has already experienced.  It was not about the desire to die, it was about no desire to live.  This feeling does pass in time, if the person can either have someone to intervene to get one past one's apathy or let time work its own magic.  In my case, I was unsuccessful in my numerous attempts - and at least four come to mind. I thank GOD that I was incompetent and know that it was His hand that directly interfered.

There is no asking why not in James' case?  Maybe this took the place of something worse.  Don't wonder. Don't question. On this side of the veil, we have no good answers.  Whatever demons rode James, whatever he was trying to escape, maybe now he has peace.  I hope so. I pray so. This young man deserves an afterlife vastly different from his human life.  I regret that I did not know him better. I regret that he could not find enough in this life to live for. Rest in Peace, James.