Today's issue is HIPAA and Business Associate Agreements.
Under the HITECH Act, HIPAA will apply to Business Associates like it currently applies to Covered Entities. There is a proposed rule to implement this, which was expected to be finalized this past summer. It was not. If Obama wins, there is no telling when the final rule will be issued. If he loses, it is a safe bet that his regime will push to have the final rule issued before the end of the year in order to forestall its complete death.
The key to these proposed rules is that Covered Entities are trying to build in the elements of the proposed rules to their current Business Associate Agreements. At present, certain elements are not expected out of Business Associates, but certainly Covered Entities would love to have these elements present now - like downstream enforcement to subcontractors of the Business Associates, audit trails, and the physical, administrative, and technical safeguards of the security rule.
There is a hope and a prayer that reasoning will overcome our Congress and some pieces of the HITECH Act will get repealed. But it's only a hope. and LOTS of prayer.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Monday, September 10, 2012
Leadership, part III
Let's
abandon the academic discussions of leadership and enter the realm of personal advice.
I have been called a leader. I
have been recognized as a leader (Phoenix 40 under 40, FBI Citizens Academy,
State Bar of Arizona leadership academy, YWCA educational leader, etc.). I have
held leadership positions from school groups, to non-profit boards, to jobs. I
share this so you have some idea of my authority to speak on this topic. So
yes, time to pat myself on the back.
But I do not engage in this
post to self-congratulate, I embark on this discussion to share my views on
what it takes to be a leader when one deliberately desires to be a leader.
Below I share my top five elements of great leaders.
My first and perhaps most
important point is: serve others.
Do not seek to elevate yourself, seek to serve others. If you have a
talent or skill that can benefit someone else, use it for their benefit. If this happens to serve a large group of
people, great. If it serves one person, great.
Listen. Leaders typically
solve problems. Listen. Figure out the problem. Listen. Figure out the
solution.
Be
true to yourself. Pretending or trying to be someone you are not
will guarantee failure at some point. Your palace of success will be built on a
flimsy base of cards. Be you. Be the
best you possible and always strive to improve. You are not perfect. Accept it.
Get as close to it as possible. But remain humble. There is always someone out there a little
smarter, a little better, a little more ambitious, a little more than whatever
you are.
Ethics.
Honesty. Morals. Integrity. All words describing a solid foundation of truth.
A
leader is only truly as good as his/her team:
be it supporters, followers, colleagues, or customers. Very little is accomplished in a vacuum. The
world is about people. Life is about people.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Leadership, part II
Looking at the examples of leaders provided in the previous entry seems to make the definition of leadership even more confusing. Hitler as a leader? In the same category as Mother Teresa? Yes. and No.
Both "good" and "bad" leaders are leaders in the sense that they effect change on some level. In Hitler's case, it was on a massive, global level impacting hundreds of thousands of individuals either directly or in the efforts to stop him. By all accounts he was charismatic, intelligent, talented, and personable. And while we will discuss toxic leaders in another entry, would not necessarily qualify as a toxic leader. Apparently, he was an effective leader, able to motivate an entire generation and the next one. In this case, his goals were suspect and in a historical perspective - bad.
Mother Teresa, on the other hand, sought neither fame nor fortune. She selflessly gave of herself, her efforts, her time to provide for others. She raised no army. She had few if any direct followers. She was not known to be charismatic or particularly intelligent (in this regard, I offer no insult, merely indicating that of the traits she is known for, no one discusses her intelligence). She is known to be humble, enduring, giving, selfless, kind, faithful.
So why are both leaders? Is leadership linked to quality of one's goals, results, position, followers, or what? Yes. Leadership is one of those nebulous concepts that defeats decades of efforts to nail it down, but simultaneously everyone knows what leadership is. The trouble comes when one wants to be a leader and is looking for that recipe of traits to have or things to do. Those that are natural leaders may not ever engage in this effort, but they also may not agree that they are leaders. This depends on how they qualify as leaders. Mother Teresa would probably never have stated she was a leader. Hitler proclaimed it to the world.
Some leaders may not ever realize it, until one day they look behind them and see a river of followers.
What about those who want to be leaders? Who want that recipe to follow? We'll address this next time.
Both "good" and "bad" leaders are leaders in the sense that they effect change on some level. In Hitler's case, it was on a massive, global level impacting hundreds of thousands of individuals either directly or in the efforts to stop him. By all accounts he was charismatic, intelligent, talented, and personable. And while we will discuss toxic leaders in another entry, would not necessarily qualify as a toxic leader. Apparently, he was an effective leader, able to motivate an entire generation and the next one. In this case, his goals were suspect and in a historical perspective - bad.
Mother Teresa, on the other hand, sought neither fame nor fortune. She selflessly gave of herself, her efforts, her time to provide for others. She raised no army. She had few if any direct followers. She was not known to be charismatic or particularly intelligent (in this regard, I offer no insult, merely indicating that of the traits she is known for, no one discusses her intelligence). She is known to be humble, enduring, giving, selfless, kind, faithful.
So why are both leaders? Is leadership linked to quality of one's goals, results, position, followers, or what? Yes. Leadership is one of those nebulous concepts that defeats decades of efforts to nail it down, but simultaneously everyone knows what leadership is. The trouble comes when one wants to be a leader and is looking for that recipe of traits to have or things to do. Those that are natural leaders may not ever engage in this effort, but they also may not agree that they are leaders. This depends on how they qualify as leaders. Mother Teresa would probably never have stated she was a leader. Hitler proclaimed it to the world.
Some leaders may not ever realize it, until one day they look behind them and see a river of followers.
What about those who want to be leaders? Who want that recipe to follow? We'll address this next time.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Leadership
Scholars have debated the definition of leadership for centuries and no one clear definition stands above the rest. One becomes a leader by choice, by default, by selection. Leadership may be granted on the basis on one's knowledge, authority, position, realm of influence, range of control, personality.
So if you want to be a leader - how do you become one?
More importantly, how do you become a person of being a leader?
and is a leader always ethical or admirable?
We'll explore the topic of leadership in the next few posts, but to start off - consider these leaders and what they offer to the field of leadership. Think about how they became leaders, what they led, what they accomplished, and last, how do they further your understanding of what makes a leader.
Mother Theresa Hitler Rosa Lee
Marie Curie the Wright brothers Ben Franklin
Gandhi Nelson Mandela Cleopatra
Chairman Mao Florence Nightingale Martin Luther King, Jr.
Put some thought into their leadership qualities and impact.
So if you want to be a leader - how do you become one?
More importantly, how do you become a person of being a leader?
and is a leader always ethical or admirable?
We'll explore the topic of leadership in the next few posts, but to start off - consider these leaders and what they offer to the field of leadership. Think about how they became leaders, what they led, what they accomplished, and last, how do they further your understanding of what makes a leader.
Mother Theresa Hitler Rosa Lee
Marie Curie the Wright brothers Ben Franklin
Gandhi Nelson Mandela Cleopatra
Chairman Mao Florence Nightingale Martin Luther King, Jr.
Put some thought into their leadership qualities and impact.
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Dear Ol' Mississippi
I have not posted in a few days, for three reasons: 1) emotionally and mentally exhausted from last week - nephew died, two classmates died, son-in-law-to-be deployment - just exhausting; 2) wanted to see if I could stick with this blogging every few days rather than daily, and 3) lazy. My apologies for anyone waiting with baited breath for the next press of my keyboard.
With that introduction, let's discuss something near and dear to my heart lately - Mississippi. I was born and raised there. I did not leave until I was 27 years old - so we are talking true Mississippi bred. I was offered full scholarships to at least one university in every state. I could have gone to Hawaii for free. And I turned it down to attend Mississippi College, a private Christian college outside Jackson, MS. Why? Because they were the first ones who called me by my correct name. Really? Because I was raised that women were inferior and was scared to go too far from home.
My family is still there and I got nothing for it. Sorry.
It is a gorgeous state with some rich history, but to me, it is a good place to be FROM. not to be.
Here are some cool facts about Mississippi - near the bottom is a list of some famous people, ENJOY!
The father of country music Jimmie Rodgers, father of rock Elvis Presley, and the father of blues BB King - are all from Mississippi - the world owes a lot to Mississippi...
The Mississippi Gulf Coast, from Biloxi to Henderson Point, is the largest and longest man-made beach in the world.
The Ringier-America company in Corinth, MS prints National Geographic.
Mississippi has more churches per capita than any other state.
H.A. Cole in Jackson, MS, developed the cleaning product Pine-Sol and is still only manufactured in Pearl, MS.
Four cities in the world have been sanctioned by the International Theatre/Dance Committee to host the International Ballet Competition: Moscow, Russia; Varna, Bulgaria; Helsinki, Finland; and Jackson, Mississippi.
David Harrison of Columbus owns the patent on the "Soft Toilet Seat." Over one million are sold every year.
The first football player on a Wheaties box was Walter Payton of Columbia.
The Teddy Bear's name originated after a bear hunt in Mississippi with President Theodore Roosevelt. President Roosevelt refused to shoot an exhausted and possibly lame bear. News of this spread across the country, and a New York merchant capitalized on this publicity by creating a stuffed bear called "Teddy's Bear."
H. T. Merrill of Iuka flew the first round-trip transoceanic flight in 1928. The flight to England was made in a plane loaded with ping-pong balls.
The birthplace of Elvis in Tupelo includes: a museum, a chapel, and the two-room house in which Elvis was born.
Emil and Kelly Mitchell, the last King and Queen of Gypsies in the U.S., are buried in Rose Hill Cemetery in Meridian. Since 1915, people from all over the world visit to pay respects.
The 4-H Club began in Holmes County in 1907.
On April 25, 1866, women in Columbus decorated the graves of Confederate and Union soldiers in Friendship Cemetery. This gesture became known as Decoration Day, the beginning of what we observe as Memorial Day.
Shoes were first sold as pairs in 1884 at Phil Gilbert's Shoe Parlor in Vicksburg.
Mississippi University for Women in Columbus was the first state college for women in the country, established in 1884.
Natchez was settled by the French in 1716 and is the oldest permanent settlement on the Mississippi River. Natchez once had 500 millionaires, more than any other city except New York City. Natchez now has more than 500 buildings that are on the National Register of Historic Places. This is the city Sherman refused to burn because it was simply too beautiful in his famous trek through the South.
Captain Issac Ross of Lorman freed his slaves in 1834 and arranged for their passage to the west coast of Africa. They founded the country of Liberia.
Oliver Pollock was the largest individual financial contributor to the American Revolution. He invented the dollar sign ($). He is buried near Pinckneyville.
The Mississippi Legislature passed one of the first laws in 1839 to protect the property rights of married women.
The Natchez Trace Parkway, named an "All American Road" by the federal government, extends from Natchez to just south of Nashville, Tennessee. The Trace began as an Indian trail more than 8,000 years ago.
The Mississippi Delta is the birthplace of the Blues, which preceded the birth of Jazz, the only other original American art form.
The Vicksburg National Cemetery is the second-largest national cemetery in the country. Arlington National Cemetery is the largest.
D'Lo was featured in Life Magazine for sending proportionally more men to serve in World War II than any other town of its size; 38 percent of the men who lived in D'Lo served.
In 1894, Coca-Cola was first bottled by Joseph A. Biedenharn in Vicksburg.
Peavey Electronics, in Meridian, is the world's largest manufacturer of musical amplification equipment.
Proportionally more Mississippians were killed during the Civil War than from any other Confederate state.
Serving during Reconstruction, Hiram Revels was the first Black U.S. Senator.
The first Parents-Teachers Association was founded in Crystal Springs, MS.
Babe Ruth's last home run was hit off a Mississippian, Guy Bush of Tupelo.
Famous people include James Earl Jones, Morgan Freeman, Jim Hensen, Diane Ladd, Mary Ann Mobley, Sela Ward, Oprah Winfrey, Jerry Clower, Bob Pittman (MTV), Hartley Peavey, Jimmy Buffett, Otis Clay, Bo Diddley, Faith Hill, Leontyne Price, Charlie Pride, Britney Spears, Muddy Waters, Al Wilson, William Faulker, Charlaine Harris, Tennessee Williams, and many many more
See this list for more
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_Mississippi
With that introduction, let's discuss something near and dear to my heart lately - Mississippi. I was born and raised there. I did not leave until I was 27 years old - so we are talking true Mississippi bred. I was offered full scholarships to at least one university in every state. I could have gone to Hawaii for free. And I turned it down to attend Mississippi College, a private Christian college outside Jackson, MS. Why? Because they were the first ones who called me by my correct name. Really? Because I was raised that women were inferior and was scared to go too far from home.
My family is still there and I got nothing for it. Sorry.
It is a gorgeous state with some rich history, but to me, it is a good place to be FROM. not to be.
Here are some cool facts about Mississippi - near the bottom is a list of some famous people, ENJOY!
The father of country music Jimmie Rodgers, father of rock Elvis Presley, and the father of blues BB King - are all from Mississippi - the world owes a lot to Mississippi...
The Mississippi Gulf Coast, from Biloxi to Henderson Point, is the largest and longest man-made beach in the world.
The Ringier-America company in Corinth, MS prints National Geographic.
Mississippi has more churches per capita than any other state.
H.A. Cole in Jackson, MS, developed the cleaning product Pine-Sol and is still only manufactured in Pearl, MS.
Four cities in the world have been sanctioned by the International Theatre/Dance Committee to host the International Ballet Competition: Moscow, Russia; Varna, Bulgaria; Helsinki, Finland; and Jackson, Mississippi.
David Harrison of Columbus owns the patent on the "Soft Toilet Seat." Over one million are sold every year.
The first football player on a Wheaties box was Walter Payton of Columbia.
The Teddy Bear's name originated after a bear hunt in Mississippi with President Theodore Roosevelt. President Roosevelt refused to shoot an exhausted and possibly lame bear. News of this spread across the country, and a New York merchant capitalized on this publicity by creating a stuffed bear called "Teddy's Bear."
H. T. Merrill of Iuka flew the first round-trip transoceanic flight in 1928. The flight to England was made in a plane loaded with ping-pong balls.
The birthplace of Elvis in Tupelo includes: a museum, a chapel, and the two-room house in which Elvis was born.
Emil and Kelly Mitchell, the last King and Queen of Gypsies in the U.S., are buried in Rose Hill Cemetery in Meridian. Since 1915, people from all over the world visit to pay respects.
The 4-H Club began in Holmes County in 1907.
On April 25, 1866, women in Columbus decorated the graves of Confederate and Union soldiers in Friendship Cemetery. This gesture became known as Decoration Day, the beginning of what we observe as Memorial Day.
Shoes were first sold as pairs in 1884 at Phil Gilbert's Shoe Parlor in Vicksburg.
Mississippi University for Women in Columbus was the first state college for women in the country, established in 1884.
Natchez was settled by the French in 1716 and is the oldest permanent settlement on the Mississippi River. Natchez once had 500 millionaires, more than any other city except New York City. Natchez now has more than 500 buildings that are on the National Register of Historic Places. This is the city Sherman refused to burn because it was simply too beautiful in his famous trek through the South.
Captain Issac Ross of Lorman freed his slaves in 1834 and arranged for their passage to the west coast of Africa. They founded the country of Liberia.
Oliver Pollock was the largest individual financial contributor to the American Revolution. He invented the dollar sign ($). He is buried near Pinckneyville.
The Mississippi Legislature passed one of the first laws in 1839 to protect the property rights of married women.
The Natchez Trace Parkway, named an "All American Road" by the federal government, extends from Natchez to just south of Nashville, Tennessee. The Trace began as an Indian trail more than 8,000 years ago.
The Mississippi Delta is the birthplace of the Blues, which preceded the birth of Jazz, the only other original American art form.
The Vicksburg National Cemetery is the second-largest national cemetery in the country. Arlington National Cemetery is the largest.
D'Lo was featured in Life Magazine for sending proportionally more men to serve in World War II than any other town of its size; 38 percent of the men who lived in D'Lo served.
In 1894, Coca-Cola was first bottled by Joseph A. Biedenharn in Vicksburg.
Peavey Electronics, in Meridian, is the world's largest manufacturer of musical amplification equipment.
Proportionally more Mississippians were killed during the Civil War than from any other Confederate state.
Serving during Reconstruction, Hiram Revels was the first Black U.S. Senator.
The first Parents-Teachers Association was founded in Crystal Springs, MS.
Babe Ruth's last home run was hit off a Mississippian, Guy Bush of Tupelo.
Famous people include James Earl Jones, Morgan Freeman, Jim Hensen, Diane Ladd, Mary Ann Mobley, Sela Ward, Oprah Winfrey, Jerry Clower, Bob Pittman (MTV), Hartley Peavey, Jimmy Buffett, Otis Clay, Bo Diddley, Faith Hill, Leontyne Price, Charlie Pride, Britney Spears, Muddy Waters, Al Wilson, William Faulker, Charlaine Harris, Tennessee Williams, and many many more
See this list for more
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_from_Mississippi
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Life is too fleeting
This week, my nephew died, a classmate from high school died, and another classmate has been declared missing after diving into a lake.
Do I cry, scream, rage, shut off, or all of the above?
Yes.
RIP James, Tim Gray, and Jeff Nause. You will live forever in the hearts of those who love you and you are missed by family and friends.
Do I cry, scream, rage, shut off, or all of the above?
Yes.
RIP James, Tim Gray, and Jeff Nause. You will live forever in the hearts of those who love you and you are missed by family and friends.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Writing Papers to Publish
This week, I have been working on finishing papers to submit for publication. It is a rite of passage and a way of life for those in academia. A year ago, I would have stated that being an academia was my one goal. Now, I have a job I love, pays well, in a great area albeit an expensive one, and I am not sure I want to give this up to be in academia. But I still want to publish to have that option open to me. Unfortunately, part of my rationale is to prove a professor wrong. He spent an awful amount of time reiterating to us students that working in academia at a research institution was stressful and difficult. That if he had to start over now, he would not do so. It's a tremendous amount of work.
Considering that the people he was talking to worked full-time jobs, high-stress ones, and attended a PhD program part-time...I'm thinking that not even a tenure-track professorship at a research university could be more demanding than an average of 60-70 hours on the job, plus school, kids, home, animals, chronic disabilities, volunteer work, mentoring, and well - whatever else I had going on at the same time. So I'd like to show him that he should not judge how un-busy we are not. Good googli moo.
But back to the topic. The two papers are vastly different and wonderfully interesting. One is on electronic communications in the workplace that the professor volunteered to help me prep for submission for publication as long as he could be co-listed. Sure - he had good feedback and hopefully, connections.
The other is related to my desired dissertation topic, jury decision-making and reform. I asked a friend of mine from law school to join with me on this paper - cause I like the way she thinks and writes. She has two published papers already, so apparently, she knows the formula. I want to know the formula. So together, we are writing a paper on how civic education can improve jury decision making as part of the jury reform movement. It's turning out to be a heck of a paper.
Considering that the people he was talking to worked full-time jobs, high-stress ones, and attended a PhD program part-time...I'm thinking that not even a tenure-track professorship at a research university could be more demanding than an average of 60-70 hours on the job, plus school, kids, home, animals, chronic disabilities, volunteer work, mentoring, and well - whatever else I had going on at the same time. So I'd like to show him that he should not judge how un-busy we are not. Good googli moo.
But back to the topic. The two papers are vastly different and wonderfully interesting. One is on electronic communications in the workplace that the professor volunteered to help me prep for submission for publication as long as he could be co-listed. Sure - he had good feedback and hopefully, connections.
The other is related to my desired dissertation topic, jury decision-making and reform. I asked a friend of mine from law school to join with me on this paper - cause I like the way she thinks and writes. She has two published papers already, so apparently, she knows the formula. I want to know the formula. So together, we are writing a paper on how civic education can improve jury decision making as part of the jury reform movement. It's turning out to be a heck of a paper.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Character and Fitness
Currently, various and sundry individuals I know are receiving requests from the California Bar Admissions staff to opine on my character and fitness to be registered with the bar. Notice I said registered. I am not applying or admission or taking the exam, merely registering as an in-house counsel. See, most states permit licensed attorneys from other jurisdictions to register with the state bar so they can work as corporate counsels.
Not all states, however, require the attorney to complete a moral and fitness character application. It is quite thorough and somewhat tedious - although California's is not near as lengthy as Arizona's. So here are some hints: if you complete one for one state, save it for the next one - just in case. You can pull a report from the Social Security Administration that will show pay that was reported under your SSN and addresses. Both character applications I have filled out have asked for all jobs since 18 years old. For an old fart like me, that is a long time.
Also, let my voice join others in cautioning you to be completely honest. Don't hod back because you don't think the bar would ever find out if you do not disclose it. They may not. But if they do, you can be sanctions up to and including disbarred. Just be honest.
Also, if you have something unfavorable, feel free to add an organized explanation. For example, let's say you are divorced and there were credit cards in both names. You took some, the spouse took the others. You paid, the spouse did not so the accounts went into collection and show on your credit report. Most applications do ask about past due debts even those barred by the statutes of limitations. Don't just fill out the paperwork and list the debt with the short explanation. Go ahead and explain the circumstances in a clear, organized manner and make it very easy for the reviewers to understand exactly what the circumstances are. Don't make them have to think about it.
So we will see what happens with my application. It should only be a couple of months from this stage.
Not all states, however, require the attorney to complete a moral and fitness character application. It is quite thorough and somewhat tedious - although California's is not near as lengthy as Arizona's. So here are some hints: if you complete one for one state, save it for the next one - just in case. You can pull a report from the Social Security Administration that will show pay that was reported under your SSN and addresses. Both character applications I have filled out have asked for all jobs since 18 years old. For an old fart like me, that is a long time.
Also, let my voice join others in cautioning you to be completely honest. Don't hod back because you don't think the bar would ever find out if you do not disclose it. They may not. But if they do, you can be sanctions up to and including disbarred. Just be honest.
Also, if you have something unfavorable, feel free to add an organized explanation. For example, let's say you are divorced and there were credit cards in both names. You took some, the spouse took the others. You paid, the spouse did not so the accounts went into collection and show on your credit report. Most applications do ask about past due debts even those barred by the statutes of limitations. Don't just fill out the paperwork and list the debt with the short explanation. Go ahead and explain the circumstances in a clear, organized manner and make it very easy for the reviewers to understand exactly what the circumstances are. Don't make them have to think about it.
So we will see what happens with my application. It should only be a couple of months from this stage.
Monday, August 13, 2012
E-communications: an introduction
Technology has had a profound effect on both the workplace and communication. Electronic communication has been well-established as a mainstay of today’s workforce. However, this generation is seeing virtual communication become the default interaction method. While we may lament the loss of formal communication skills, such as hand-written notes, we must realize that a certain population has an immediate gratification attitude towards interpersonal relations. Before text messaging, there remained a cautionary principle of “think twice before sending” to prevent hasty reactions. With this current always-connected existence, the new generation of professionals may have little concept of boundaries or communication prudence. Further, critical non-verbal cues that people learn through in-person interaction may be overlooked in this era of electronic communication. We have started seeing issues of e-communication infringe upon the workplace. There have been lawsuits on privacy expectations of e-mail and texting, harassment via electronics quaintly termed “textual harassment,” and corporate policies on social media. Employees are frequently expected to be available electronically outside traditional work hours and in some cases, to use personal devices for business purposes. It is critical to understand these issues when considering personnel policies, disciplinary issues, risk management, and corporate strategy regarding communication both internally and externally.
Prevalence of electronic communications
Electronic communication devices and means have become ubiquitous in American life. 83% of American adults own some kind of cell phone, indicating slightly over 100 million people in the U.S. over the age of 18 people have cell phones. More than half of the respondents indicated that their cell phones were useful for accessing information quickly, to the extent that when not available, 27% said they were unable to accomplish some task. 42% use cell phones to relieve boredom and 13% pretend to use cell phones in order to avoid some social interaction. Almost a third of us have turned off our cell phones just to take a break from them. Over ten billion videos were streamed in the U.S. in one month last year (Nielson Wire 2010). This is a staggering statistic when one considers that the world population just reached seven billion (U.S. Census Bureau). A recent study by the International Center for Media & the Public Agenda in 2010 showed that American college students are addicted to the internet, cell phones, social media and show symptoms similar to drug and alcohol withdrawal when asked to “unplug” for 24 hours.
Social Media has a penetration rate of 98% in young adults, with only a 7% less rate among Americans in general (Experian 2011). 129 million Americans use social media in some capacity each month, with 20% using mobile technology, i.e. cell phone, to access their social media sites (Experian 2011). Increasing social media use equates to an increase in email usage. Additionally, studies show that most videos watched online are between 12 pm and 2 pm, during a typical workday. Nielson reports that in September, 2011, 164 million individuals spent an average of five hours watching 18 billion videos in the U.S. alone. This was a significant increase from the 10 billion videos streamed in June, 2010, indicating the growth rate and prevalence of online media use. 60% of Americans with smartphones and/or tablet PCs checked email while watching television at home. This last figure speaks to the potential of performing work duties on private time.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
RIP, James
I just found out that my nephew committed suicide this morning. It's horrible. I did not know him, had not seen him since he was a toddler. He was 24. He was my only brother's first child whose mother had taken him to other states during his childhood - and my brother had no contact with him due to the mother. But at 18 James came to find his father and proceeded to get into quite a bit of trouble, including going to prison.
It's sad to see such a life, any life, ruined - but to know that a parent failed to equip a child for success, much less deliberately set out to ensure the child failed, is a tragedy. I don't know that my brother would have done much better and judging by the children he did raise, would have been just as bad. But the point here is not about bad parenting, it's about a life ended young by his own hand to escape where he saw no other option.
I have been there, I know the desperate feeling of having no desire to experience more of what one has already experienced. It was not about the desire to die, it was about no desire to live. This feeling does pass in time, if the person can either have someone to intervene to get one past one's apathy or let time work its own magic. In my case, I was unsuccessful in my numerous attempts - and at least four come to mind. I thank GOD that I was incompetent and know that it was His hand that directly interfered.
There is no asking why not in James' case? Maybe this took the place of something worse. Don't wonder. Don't question. On this side of the veil, we have no good answers. Whatever demons rode James, whatever he was trying to escape, maybe now he has peace. I hope so. I pray so. This young man deserves an afterlife vastly different from his human life. I regret that I did not know him better. I regret that he could not find enough in this life to live for. Rest in Peace, James.
It's sad to see such a life, any life, ruined - but to know that a parent failed to equip a child for success, much less deliberately set out to ensure the child failed, is a tragedy. I don't know that my brother would have done much better and judging by the children he did raise, would have been just as bad. But the point here is not about bad parenting, it's about a life ended young by his own hand to escape where he saw no other option.
I have been there, I know the desperate feeling of having no desire to experience more of what one has already experienced. It was not about the desire to die, it was about no desire to live. This feeling does pass in time, if the person can either have someone to intervene to get one past one's apathy or let time work its own magic. In my case, I was unsuccessful in my numerous attempts - and at least four come to mind. I thank GOD that I was incompetent and know that it was His hand that directly interfered.
There is no asking why not in James' case? Maybe this took the place of something worse. Don't wonder. Don't question. On this side of the veil, we have no good answers. Whatever demons rode James, whatever he was trying to escape, maybe now he has peace. I hope so. I pray so. This young man deserves an afterlife vastly different from his human life. I regret that I did not know him better. I regret that he could not find enough in this life to live for. Rest in Peace, James.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Third time is definitely the charm
Today, I would like to talk about my husband, whom I adore. He is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. It took me a while to find it - but good things come to those who wait. He is my third husband and we met in 2001 online at match.com. We married in August, six months later. I hope we are celebrating together for many decades to come.
My first husband was abusive, more mentally and emotionally than physically. His most physical abuse was rape. I have never written those words out loud. And I would be ashamed for my children to read them, but I have nothing to be ashamed about. I have learned that.
But I turned around and married another abuser, because I thought that marriage was the right state to be in when one had kids. I did not want to be a single mom. He had a psychotic break when I told him I wanted a divorce. Psychotic breaks are not pretty. I ran from the house in my pajamas because he was physically terrifying me. The kids were not at home at the time. Even though I kept possession of the house to provide a home for the girls, his behavior fixated on us and I had to leave the state to escape him. But he followed. and stalked. although to my knowledge, he never did anything - just tracked and watched. But karma is a bitch. eight years later, he was killed after stopping a drunk man and his girlfriend from fighting at a campground on Memorial Day week-end. The defendant and a person nearby both claimed that the victim yelled "I'm going to get you!" before the defendant stabbed him. Apparently, the cops put zero belief in that because of all the glowing reports about the victim who had been in the marines and was known for being such a gentle man. Well, until I called to confirm it was my ex-husband and was asked why. After explaining the fear we'd been under for the better part of a decade and the order of protection, maybe the cops got a different view on the victim. I don't care. The defendant was convicted of manslaughter, justice was served on all sides. The sickening part was reading the comments from others about the victim, my ex-husband. Oh, and as far as I know - he was never in the marines. I think I would have known. But psychotic people hide well and present a totally different person to most than they do to their victims. I was his victim. They were his cover.
So after two horrible marriages, could anyone blame me for being scared of a third? But I took a leap of faith and God placed me in the arms of the right person. I have a strong faith - would have to after what I have survived, because there was no way I saved myself. I know there are people who have suffered much more and I bleed for them inside. But there are also people who have never known this type of pain or fear. I hope they never do.
My first husband was abusive, more mentally and emotionally than physically. His most physical abuse was rape. I have never written those words out loud. And I would be ashamed for my children to read them, but I have nothing to be ashamed about. I have learned that.
But I turned around and married another abuser, because I thought that marriage was the right state to be in when one had kids. I did not want to be a single mom. He had a psychotic break when I told him I wanted a divorce. Psychotic breaks are not pretty. I ran from the house in my pajamas because he was physically terrifying me. The kids were not at home at the time. Even though I kept possession of the house to provide a home for the girls, his behavior fixated on us and I had to leave the state to escape him. But he followed. and stalked. although to my knowledge, he never did anything - just tracked and watched. But karma is a bitch. eight years later, he was killed after stopping a drunk man and his girlfriend from fighting at a campground on Memorial Day week-end. The defendant and a person nearby both claimed that the victim yelled "I'm going to get you!" before the defendant stabbed him. Apparently, the cops put zero belief in that because of all the glowing reports about the victim who had been in the marines and was known for being such a gentle man. Well, until I called to confirm it was my ex-husband and was asked why. After explaining the fear we'd been under for the better part of a decade and the order of protection, maybe the cops got a different view on the victim. I don't care. The defendant was convicted of manslaughter, justice was served on all sides. The sickening part was reading the comments from others about the victim, my ex-husband. Oh, and as far as I know - he was never in the marines. I think I would have known. But psychotic people hide well and present a totally different person to most than they do to their victims. I was his victim. They were his cover.
So after two horrible marriages, could anyone blame me for being scared of a third? But I took a leap of faith and God placed me in the arms of the right person. I have a strong faith - would have to after what I have survived, because there was no way I saved myself. I know there are people who have suffered much more and I bleed for them inside. But there are also people who have never known this type of pain or fear. I hope they never do.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Arizona Jury Reform
I missed a day blogging and for that I apologize my dear readers, but I finished the infamous paper that I had so procrastinated on. Submission time was about 5 am. Good googli moo.
It is a fascinating paper about Arizona's jury reform in terms of change management. Back in 1993, Arizona started a jury innovation project designed to increase juror decision-making. Here is a small excerpt:
Although Arizona is one of the states that guarantees the right to a jury trial for both criminal and civil cases (Arizona Constitution, art. 2, s. 23), there was dissatisfaction with the overall system of jury trials. Dissatisfaction with jury trials is not new, but the right elements came together at the opportune time in the appropriate state. While jury reform has been under siege for a long time, the battle advanced significantly when the Honorable B. Michael Dann, then presiding judge of the Maricopa County Superior Court in Arizona wrote a thesis paper for his Master of Judicial Studies degree about how to create educated and democratic juries. He discussed four main topics pertinent to jury reform:
1) the decline from an active juror role to one of passivity,
2) how established psychological and educational principles apply to juror decision making,
3) commonly suggested techniques to improve juror participation, and
4) two obscure techniques.
He also sent this paper to a friend and colleague back in Arizona, who happened to be the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Arizona.
And that is how jury reform started, because Arizona is recognized as the leader in this area.
It is a fascinating paper about Arizona's jury reform in terms of change management. Back in 1993, Arizona started a jury innovation project designed to increase juror decision-making. Here is a small excerpt:
Although Arizona is one of the states that guarantees the right to a jury trial for both criminal and civil cases (Arizona Constitution, art. 2, s. 23), there was dissatisfaction with the overall system of jury trials. Dissatisfaction with jury trials is not new, but the right elements came together at the opportune time in the appropriate state. While jury reform has been under siege for a long time, the battle advanced significantly when the Honorable B. Michael Dann, then presiding judge of the Maricopa County Superior Court in Arizona wrote a thesis paper for his Master of Judicial Studies degree about how to create educated and democratic juries. He discussed four main topics pertinent to jury reform:
1) the decline from an active juror role to one of passivity,
2) how established psychological and educational principles apply to juror decision making,
3) commonly suggested techniques to improve juror participation, and
4) two obscure techniques.
He also sent this paper to a friend and colleague back in Arizona, who happened to be the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of Arizona.
And that is how jury reform started, because Arizona is recognized as the leader in this area.
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
JD vs. PhD
Paper still not done, but tonight I have a real topic - JD vs. PhD
Having one (JD) and entering dissertation phase of the other (PhD), I can speak to both academically if not how they impact life. Let's start with top ten lessons:
10. Procrastination is a bad study habit for either.
9. However, writing papers in a time crunch is good practice for attorney-work.
8. Extensive vocabulary is only effective when you charge by the hour or speak to a tenured professor.
7. Lawyers/Law students make "cussing like a sailor" unreasonable censorship.
6. #7 is equally valid for "drinking like a sailor."
5. "Reasonable man" jokes are only funny to others who study law.
4. Professors are generally not reasonable men.
3. Publish. Publish. Publish.
2. Citing oneself is generally frowned upon, but is sometimes the only path to increased cited numbers.
1. One of them makes a lot of money. One of them has a great quality of life as long they publish.
Having one (JD) and entering dissertation phase of the other (PhD), I can speak to both academically if not how they impact life. Let's start with top ten lessons:
10. Procrastination is a bad study habit for either.
9. However, writing papers in a time crunch is good practice for attorney-work.
8. Extensive vocabulary is only effective when you charge by the hour or speak to a tenured professor.
7. Lawyers/Law students make "cussing like a sailor" unreasonable censorship.
6. #7 is equally valid for "drinking like a sailor."
5. "Reasonable man" jokes are only funny to others who study law.
4. Professors are generally not reasonable men.
3. Publish. Publish. Publish.
2. Citing oneself is generally frowned upon, but is sometimes the only path to increased cited numbers.
1. One of them makes a lot of money. One of them has a great quality of life as long they publish.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
TV shows...and promises
Tonight's post is also going to be short and sweet for the exact same reasons
"May I ask you a question?" "I would prefer not, but I won't go so far as to forbid it." I love the Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is so freaking hilarious. I adore him - and the others. I came to this show late, but am catching up at a furious rate. I probably need to watch it on hulu or something to actually catch up in order. As it is, I have recently seen how Sheldon and Amy met - and that was important information. Also Penny and Leonard as a couple, their history, etc. awesome. I need a sarcasm sign.
Another favorite show: NCIS - watched it from season one long before many others realized its brilliance. Love Jethro, Tony, Tim, Abby, Zeva, Ducky.
and thinking about shows leads me to movies - recent and upcoming. Recent - Spiderman - love the new guy. seems to fit the character well. Recall - great remake. good movie. Upcoming - Bourne legacy. oh my gosh - so stoked about it.
I actually do love movies and so does my husband. And I love to watch soeeddddddddddddhyu\
what was that? Oh that was my cat, KC, adding her thoughts to my activities. I left it in, because it is a common part of my life - her comments. She is a 10 year old, 18 pound bundle of love. Comments are free and offered frequently.
Where were we? . . . And I love to watch some of the more popular series: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Bourne series, etc. See, one of my blessings is my memory. I can never seem to recall every single thing that happens in a movie, so there are always little pieces of surprise for me. Unlike my hubby, who tends to quote movie lines incessantly. Especially, Monty Python. Is it a man thing? Well, he has my daughters quoting them, too. Makes them popular with the guys, right? Good googli moo.
I am so far sticking with the plan to blog every night. At some level, I think if I have nothing of quality to say, I should say nothing, but that defeats the purpose of my vow to stick with this. If I skip once because it has no content value, then I will procrastinate getting back to it and this blog will die of neglect, like the others. So I stick with this, you stick with me, and together with KC, we make this a success.
"May I ask you a question?" "I would prefer not, but I won't go so far as to forbid it." I love the Big Bang Theory. Sheldon is so freaking hilarious. I adore him - and the others. I came to this show late, but am catching up at a furious rate. I probably need to watch it on hulu or something to actually catch up in order. As it is, I have recently seen how Sheldon and Amy met - and that was important information. Also Penny and Leonard as a couple, their history, etc. awesome. I need a sarcasm sign.
Another favorite show: NCIS - watched it from season one long before many others realized its brilliance. Love Jethro, Tony, Tim, Abby, Zeva, Ducky.
and thinking about shows leads me to movies - recent and upcoming. Recent - Spiderman - love the new guy. seems to fit the character well. Recall - great remake. good movie. Upcoming - Bourne legacy. oh my gosh - so stoked about it.
I actually do love movies and so does my husband. And I love to watch soeeddddddddddddhyu\
what was that? Oh that was my cat, KC, adding her thoughts to my activities. I left it in, because it is a common part of my life - her comments. She is a 10 year old, 18 pound bundle of love. Comments are free and offered frequently.
Where were we? . . . And I love to watch some of the more popular series: Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Bourne series, etc. See, one of my blessings is my memory. I can never seem to recall every single thing that happens in a movie, so there are always little pieces of surprise for me. Unlike my hubby, who tends to quote movie lines incessantly. Especially, Monty Python. Is it a man thing? Well, he has my daughters quoting them, too. Makes them popular with the guys, right? Good googli moo.
I am so far sticking with the plan to blog every night. At some level, I think if I have nothing of quality to say, I should say nothing, but that defeats the purpose of my vow to stick with this. If I skip once because it has no content value, then I will procrastinate getting back to it and this blog will die of neglect, like the others. So I stick with this, you stick with me, and together with KC, we make this a success.
Monday, August 6, 2012
short, but feisty ramblings
Today's post will be necessarily short and brutal as I am in a tight deadline due to having a paper due in two days in my PhD program (see yesterday's post about procrastination). So as I am writing, I am furiously wracking my mind for something to write about that is short, intriguing, and easy to write. There are many current events that come to mind, but none that I truly wish to put words to - except maybe the Olympics.
How fascinating that we all become experts so quickly for so short a time? Seriously, gymnasts should know that if they take a step, do it forward or back, not to the side - bigger deductions to the side, doncha know? And then the judo guy who is retroactively disqualified and evicted from athlete row for testing positive for a derivative of marijuana - that apparently was unknowingly in something he ate. Well, you might have heard more about it had he medaled, but he did not - obviously because of the pot - right?
What else comes to mind recently? Oh yeah - the high price of airline tickets? seriously?? I can usually fly from San Jose to Dallas for around $350. lowest price currently - for even two months away, nothing less than $530. yeah, I wish it was dyslexia - but no, that's the price. no holiday. just oil. Somehow, I see that San Jose house getting smaller and smaller...
I am headed back to writing - good googli moo.
How fascinating that we all become experts so quickly for so short a time? Seriously, gymnasts should know that if they take a step, do it forward or back, not to the side - bigger deductions to the side, doncha know? And then the judo guy who is retroactively disqualified and evicted from athlete row for testing positive for a derivative of marijuana - that apparently was unknowingly in something he ate. Well, you might have heard more about it had he medaled, but he did not - obviously because of the pot - right?
What else comes to mind recently? Oh yeah - the high price of airline tickets? seriously?? I can usually fly from San Jose to Dallas for around $350. lowest price currently - for even two months away, nothing less than $530. yeah, I wish it was dyslexia - but no, that's the price. no holiday. just oil. Somehow, I see that San Jose house getting smaller and smaller...
I am headed back to writing - good googli moo.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Procrastination and Writing
Today I have my last written assignment due for my summer class - well, almost last. There is a final essay, but we don't know what it is yet. And of course, I have procrastinated in completing the paper. Part of what causes me to procrastinate is that I have no discipline. Apparently, I need that rush of stress to cause me to work like crazy. But logically, I know that a time will come when no matter what I do, I will not complete the task. Like the other paper I have procrastinated on. First, a little background:
I am in a PhD program at UTDallas in Public Affairs. I would never have thought to choose PA, because my loves are law, health, education, diversity/inclusivity, and technology - not in any order. I am a registered nurse with a bachelors in psychology and business administration. Before nursing, I worked in the mental health field. Then I became a lawyer. We can discuss career ADD in a later post. Now, I want to be a PhD - why? Two reasons. 1) That has always been my educational goal, PhD and apparently JD was not sufficient. 2) Job need. My first job after graduating Arizona State University College of Law was at the law school running the pro bono and student life. Essentially, anything outside academic credit was under me and a few things extra. I LOVED it. I cannot stress it enough = dream job.
But then my husband got a new job that took us to Texas right at the start of 2008 I had 4 years in the university setting, which was not enough experience to get me a similar job in Texas - they did not know how good I am. And I am good. It's like knowing you can write music or do gymnastics - you just know it. And when God gives you a talent like that - you should obey the calling. One of the obstacles was that I did not have a PhD. Despite all the rules stating that a JD should be treated like any other doctorate (PhD, EdD, etc.), it is not. Academic snubbery/snobbery at its best. And I was not elite enough in law school to garner a job as a law professor. So what's a girl to do - get a PhD, of course.
Oh, there was one more reason, I was completely stressed out and overloaded at work. I was doing nothing for me. In order to force myself to do something for me, I had to be under a commitment. So I committed to a PhD. Which brings us back to needing that stress to force me to write. And oh my good googli moo, I have another paper due for independent study class due on August 8. It's going to be a kick-ass paper if I can write it properly. I'll discuss it in a later post too, just hang with me, people, we have lots to share!
Writing - and a PhD program - takes discipline. Well, law school does, too for that matter. I can write another post about law school and what it takes to survive later. I lots of insight and some tricks. Anyway, as the PhD program is part-time, designed for working professionals, it's not the same environment as law school. I only have about 14 others in my cohort and we lock-step through the program like good little students. This summer is supposed to be our last coursework before starting the dissertation phase, but because I took a job in California, I had to adapt my summer courses to fit my absenteeism. So it is an I.S. under the professor who is teaching the summer course: leadership and change management. I hate that I am not in there. What a fascinating topic.
So here I sit, blogging on a new blog rather than writing. I have given myself until 3 pm today (about 3.5 hours from now, 4 when I set the deadline) to finish the paper. Lack of discipline. The paper is due by 10 pm tonight, so I know I have some leeway in it. But seriously, why didn't I just write the durn thing throughout the week? procrastination.
One needs to recognize and accept one's faults and put in a plan to accommodate and counter said weaknesses.
That's my advice. Calendaring works for some people. Having loved ones stay on your case works for others. Putting it on a project management works for some. Me? I scope out the extent of the work needed and form a plan to prepare for the need. Then I bust ass to make it work. I am usually well-prepared to do so, my execution of said plan just sucks at times. It's brilliant if hectic and somewhat frantic. So here I am still procrastinating about it - but now I have verbalized my worries and reinforced the stupidity of delay...increases guilt and feelings of inferiority. That works for me.
I am in a PhD program at UTDallas in Public Affairs. I would never have thought to choose PA, because my loves are law, health, education, diversity/inclusivity, and technology - not in any order. I am a registered nurse with a bachelors in psychology and business administration. Before nursing, I worked in the mental health field. Then I became a lawyer. We can discuss career ADD in a later post. Now, I want to be a PhD - why? Two reasons. 1) That has always been my educational goal, PhD and apparently JD was not sufficient. 2) Job need. My first job after graduating Arizona State University College of Law was at the law school running the pro bono and student life. Essentially, anything outside academic credit was under me and a few things extra. I LOVED it. I cannot stress it enough = dream job.
But then my husband got a new job that took us to Texas right at the start of 2008 I had 4 years in the university setting, which was not enough experience to get me a similar job in Texas - they did not know how good I am. And I am good. It's like knowing you can write music or do gymnastics - you just know it. And when God gives you a talent like that - you should obey the calling. One of the obstacles was that I did not have a PhD. Despite all the rules stating that a JD should be treated like any other doctorate (PhD, EdD, etc.), it is not. Academic snubbery/snobbery at its best. And I was not elite enough in law school to garner a job as a law professor. So what's a girl to do - get a PhD, of course.
Oh, there was one more reason, I was completely stressed out and overloaded at work. I was doing nothing for me. In order to force myself to do something for me, I had to be under a commitment. So I committed to a PhD. Which brings us back to needing that stress to force me to write. And oh my good googli moo, I have another paper due for independent study class due on August 8. It's going to be a kick-ass paper if I can write it properly. I'll discuss it in a later post too, just hang with me, people, we have lots to share!
Writing - and a PhD program - takes discipline. Well, law school does, too for that matter. I can write another post about law school and what it takes to survive later. I lots of insight and some tricks. Anyway, as the PhD program is part-time, designed for working professionals, it's not the same environment as law school. I only have about 14 others in my cohort and we lock-step through the program like good little students. This summer is supposed to be our last coursework before starting the dissertation phase, but because I took a job in California, I had to adapt my summer courses to fit my absenteeism. So it is an I.S. under the professor who is teaching the summer course: leadership and change management. I hate that I am not in there. What a fascinating topic.
So here I sit, blogging on a new blog rather than writing. I have given myself until 3 pm today (about 3.5 hours from now, 4 when I set the deadline) to finish the paper. Lack of discipline. The paper is due by 10 pm tonight, so I know I have some leeway in it. But seriously, why didn't I just write the durn thing throughout the week? procrastination.
One needs to recognize and accept one's faults and put in a plan to accommodate and counter said weaknesses.
That's my advice. Calendaring works for some people. Having loved ones stay on your case works for others. Putting it on a project management works for some. Me? I scope out the extent of the work needed and form a plan to prepare for the need. Then I bust ass to make it work. I am usually well-prepared to do so, my execution of said plan just sucks at times. It's brilliant if hectic and somewhat frantic. So here I am still procrastinating about it - but now I have verbalized my worries and reinforced the stupidity of delay...increases guilt and feelings of inferiority. That works for me.
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Long-distance Relationship
I just dropped the love of my life off at the San Jose airport for his flight back to Dallas. Due to my new job, we are relocating to San Jose - but, of course, we have complicating factors preventing a complete move right now. See, we have three dogs and two cats, so it is hard to find a rental home. Also, my oldest daughter is getting married on 4-20-13 (and no comments on 4-20 please) and is in her senior year of college back in Dallas. So we cannot sell the house there until at least May of 2013. Oh - and to save money, effort, and resources - when I moved to San Jose, my daughter did not renew the lease on her apartment and moved back in - with her dog and two cats (one of which is a family cat she took with her).
For the first two months, I commuted a week or so here and a week or so home on the company dime. But as of June, I have a one bedroom apartment in San Jose that costs more than my house note in Texas. Now, my husband tries to visit me for two weeks or so each month and I try to make it to Dallas for a long week-end monthly.
For the record: I am not really happy with the long-distance relationship, but for the first time in my life I am kinda sorta living on my own. I did bring an elderly cat with me that we had recently adopted from the pound. She is 10, was 18 pounds, and had been the sole animal companion for two ladies her whole life. I can only imagine what trauma or circumstances would cause someone to voluntarily give her up, but she was lucky enough that we discovered her. But she is not so happy with sharing living quarters with three other cats and four dogs. neither am I. So she and I live a quiet, sedate life together in sunny California.
But I miss my husband. I miss my kids. Yes, we are technically empty nesters, but my whole life has been spent taking care of others - I even turned it into a career as a nurse. Then I realized I needed a mental job, not a physical one, but we can talk about that another time.
So as I think about it, maybe this is not such a bad thing. I only have me and the cat (KC) to feed and clean up after. Everything is on my schedule and the menu is my choice. I miss my husband - I married him because I like him. I miss my kids. I raised them because I liked them as people, long after I loved them as progeny. I love my elderly dogs (they are all 12). and mixed in with all that love is concern for their welfare. But I like the time I have to me as well. Perhaps there is something to that wisdom - absence makes the heart grow fonder. We'll see how this goes. Stay tuned.
For the first two months, I commuted a week or so here and a week or so home on the company dime. But as of June, I have a one bedroom apartment in San Jose that costs more than my house note in Texas. Now, my husband tries to visit me for two weeks or so each month and I try to make it to Dallas for a long week-end monthly.
For the record: I am not really happy with the long-distance relationship, but for the first time in my life I am kinda sorta living on my own. I did bring an elderly cat with me that we had recently adopted from the pound. She is 10, was 18 pounds, and had been the sole animal companion for two ladies her whole life. I can only imagine what trauma or circumstances would cause someone to voluntarily give her up, but she was lucky enough that we discovered her. But she is not so happy with sharing living quarters with three other cats and four dogs. neither am I. So she and I live a quiet, sedate life together in sunny California.
But I miss my husband. I miss my kids. Yes, we are technically empty nesters, but my whole life has been spent taking care of others - I even turned it into a career as a nurse. Then I realized I needed a mental job, not a physical one, but we can talk about that another time.
So as I think about it, maybe this is not such a bad thing. I only have me and the cat (KC) to feed and clean up after. Everything is on my schedule and the menu is my choice. I miss my husband - I married him because I like him. I miss my kids. I raised them because I liked them as people, long after I loved them as progeny. I love my elderly dogs (they are all 12). and mixed in with all that love is concern for their welfare. But I like the time I have to me as well. Perhaps there is something to that wisdom - absence makes the heart grow fonder. We'll see how this goes. Stay tuned.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Intent - About me and this blog...
I have started numerous blogs before and like most else in my life, procrastinated and let them die from disuse. In this blog, which you will never know about unless I am successful, I plan to blog about several things: life as a lawyer, my journey through PhD school, and privacy - with a healthy dose of whatever my ADD throws in at the time. Maybe by taking this in broad strokes, I will finally be successful.
So today's blog is about me and why would anyone want to read my words. I don't know. I am writing because it appeals to me and people tell me I should share stories about my life. Which was not within the scope of what is listed above, so consider it a bonus. I am 43 right now, from Mississippi currently living in San Jose, Ca via Tennessee, Arizona, and Texas. I am on my third husband and we will soon celebrate 11 years of marriage. Note I do not say wedded bliss. While being married to him is bliss, there is certainly nothing blissful about the daily management of said marriage. I adore him. I also adore lying around, debating, zoning off in front of the TV, reading, doing school work and work work, managing family duties - ummmm, did anyone but me miss where I included cooking, cleaning, or other home engineering, old-fashioned mommy-like tasks? Yeah, not missing them. Not doing them. I recently heard that cleaning house when you have kids is like brushing your teeth with Oreos. That's a good one. Here's another: cleaning house when you are me is like witnessing a virgin birth- by faith it could have happened once, but unless the world comes to a spectacular end and history starts anew, I'm guessing we won't likely see another.
My first two husbands were abusive - mostly mental and emotional. Some physical. Very controlling. One is dead now. Not by my hand, but by that of Karma's - love her, that Karma gal. She kicks ass and kills bad people.
My daughters are from the first mistake and while he is not necessarily a dead beat, he is so close Occam's razor looks like a 10 lane freeway. and if you think I am mixing metaphors, once you get the point (ha) it makes lots of simple sense. My daughters are now 19 and 21 - and you'll be hearing lots about them later - cause my sole purpose in existing was to unleash these two on the world skewed with my views of it. Good luck.
What else do you need to know about me to entice you to read this blog? raised dirt poor, now an attorney, was also an RN (mainly oncology. hospice, and cardiac). I have systemic lupus, sjogrens, fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, hypothyroid, and a host of other systemic impairments. I blow type A personality to smithereens, my spouse calls me type triple A, but I have slowed down some and would call it at least lower case aaa. I am in a PhD program, soon to enter the dissertation phase. I read prodigiously, but read enough nonfiction at work and school that I love to read trash - mainly vampire romances. Love animals. Part Native American though they will never claim me, I claim them. My IQ was once measured around 189, my mother is alcoholic, my brother tried to kill me, I miss my grandmother like crazy, and have never known my biological father. Oh, and I just started an in-house job with a silicon valley global company and have never practiced law. Intrigued yet? hang on. We'll see if I make it to another blog.
So today's blog is about me and why would anyone want to read my words. I don't know. I am writing because it appeals to me and people tell me I should share stories about my life. Which was not within the scope of what is listed above, so consider it a bonus. I am 43 right now, from Mississippi currently living in San Jose, Ca via Tennessee, Arizona, and Texas. I am on my third husband and we will soon celebrate 11 years of marriage. Note I do not say wedded bliss. While being married to him is bliss, there is certainly nothing blissful about the daily management of said marriage. I adore him. I also adore lying around, debating, zoning off in front of the TV, reading, doing school work and work work, managing family duties - ummmm, did anyone but me miss where I included cooking, cleaning, or other home engineering, old-fashioned mommy-like tasks? Yeah, not missing them. Not doing them. I recently heard that cleaning house when you have kids is like brushing your teeth with Oreos. That's a good one. Here's another: cleaning house when you are me is like witnessing a virgin birth- by faith it could have happened once, but unless the world comes to a spectacular end and history starts anew, I'm guessing we won't likely see another.
My first two husbands were abusive - mostly mental and emotional. Some physical. Very controlling. One is dead now. Not by my hand, but by that of Karma's - love her, that Karma gal. She kicks ass and kills bad people.
My daughters are from the first mistake and while he is not necessarily a dead beat, he is so close Occam's razor looks like a 10 lane freeway. and if you think I am mixing metaphors, once you get the point (ha) it makes lots of simple sense. My daughters are now 19 and 21 - and you'll be hearing lots about them later - cause my sole purpose in existing was to unleash these two on the world skewed with my views of it. Good luck.
What else do you need to know about me to entice you to read this blog? raised dirt poor, now an attorney, was also an RN (mainly oncology. hospice, and cardiac). I have systemic lupus, sjogrens, fibromyalgia, osteoporosis, hypothyroid, and a host of other systemic impairments. I blow type A personality to smithereens, my spouse calls me type triple A, but I have slowed down some and would call it at least lower case aaa. I am in a PhD program, soon to enter the dissertation phase. I read prodigiously, but read enough nonfiction at work and school that I love to read trash - mainly vampire romances. Love animals. Part Native American though they will never claim me, I claim them. My IQ was once measured around 189, my mother is alcoholic, my brother tried to kill me, I miss my grandmother like crazy, and have never known my biological father. Oh, and I just started an in-house job with a silicon valley global company and have never practiced law. Intrigued yet? hang on. We'll see if I make it to another blog.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)